From an article I recently shared:
“Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that simply doesn’t make sense? That’s because love itself doesn’t really make any sense.”
I believe my wife Marge is currently experiencing this first hand right now. How you ask? Let me attempt to explain it for you.
The first picture was taken on our wedding day, February 17, 1993. Notice anything peculiar? Yes, you guessed it, she fell in love with and married me, someone she thought was a man. I had her fooled. Hell, I had the whole world fooled, I even lied to myself.
Wait, how did I fool everyone and lie to myself? You see, I had a dirty little secret that I hid from everyone, I even tried like hell to hide it from myself. Just look at the second picture, I was exceedingly good at hiding my secret. I look like the consummate man don’t I? Yep, as a friend that used to be my manager called me “a regular Billy Badass with something to prove.”
“Okay, okay already, what’s this dirty little secret you’re yammering on about?”
Well you see, although I did my utmost to hide it from everyone, even from myself, I’ve always known that I was not the man I pretended to be, I am a woman and have known that I was not a boy/man since I was very young. I was a toddler when I knew there was something different about me, I just couldn’t quite figure it out, that came later on in my childhood.
I was so terrified and ashamed of what I felt in my heart and knew in my head, that I couldn’t tell anyone for fear that beatings of old would continue and that nobody would love me, therefore leaving me alone in this world.
Fast forward through time to the third and fourth pictures. Notice anything different? Yep, Marge decided to stay with me as I started peeling away the image of the man I pretended to be to begin revealing the woman I’ve always been.
Why in the hell would she decide to stay in a relationship that would challenge and change everything she ever knew about herself and what she dreamed our life would be like in our old age? I don’t know, you’d have to ask her, because love, love makes no sense. I believe, if it had been anyone other than her, they could not have survived the nightmarish challenges of being in a relationship with me, a transgender woman, especially thinking she was married to a man for 25 years or so, yet here she is, still in love with, and married to me.
I am blessed because again, love makes no sense.
Marie Willa Bobo-Smith
December 17, 2019